I'm simply going to type this, probably never to read it. I need to dump, and since my children don't visit here, it's a relatively safe space.
I'm in a bad spot. Not suicidal. Don't worry. I've been there, and this isn't it. But I am struggling and stuck. I turn 61 in a couple of weeks and realize my life is draining away, but cannot find the energy or inspiration to make necessary changes.
It isn't COVID fatigue or cabin fever. I'm much too much of an introvert for that. This is suffocating lack of energy, lack of ambition, lack of interest.
It may be time to get my medications re-calibrated. Thankfully, I have an appointment with my psychiatrist next week, so that can be discussed. Sessions with my therapist have stopped due to her coping with two children at home and my dealing with lack of money due to all sorts of unexpected expenses. So, I sit on the couch day after day except for walks with Tap, getting nothing done and hating myself for getting nothing done.
4 comments:
I wish I had a suggestion or could give you some energy. Don't hate yourself for getting nothing done is my best advice to you. This is a world-wide crisis we are in; we all get to cut ourselves LOTS of slack. Maybe you could look into some free on-line encouragement from some therapist? Or maybe just vent here and let all your faithful readers offer some help or some hope? Anyway, don't beat up on yourself for not being able to cope with this time in this world. Nobody else is coping all that terribly well either!
First of all no hating yourself for a chemical imbalance that is affecting your energy levels. I am sure your medication needs a tweak and I bet you are low on B vitamins and vitamin D. I think this past year has been so draining and even if you are an introvert the constant barrage of news, deaths from Covid is bringing us all to lows we have not felt before. I hope that your next appointment gives you answers you need, until then please be easy on yourself. Your body and mind is telling you it needs to rest, so rest. Know that we are all here for you.
There's so much that could be causing this, and I trust it will get sorted out. We're here.
I get it. I hope your meds can be adjusted and that helps, but to be honest, I'm there too so I go nuthin'.
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