Baby Steps

My self-promise to take myself on a trip each month has begun a scant 20 minutes from Athens, at a Bed and Breakfast.

Only for two nights, but away, and comfortable, and, perhaps most indulgently:

a noise machine that can make it sound like I'm by the ocean.  ABSOLUTE HEAVEN.

This is the room I'm in:

However, I'm the only guest in the house, so I've wandered around and looked at all the rooms.  Already picked out the one I want when/if I come back.

The bed is so, so comfortable --- I've knit in the parlor and read on one of the porches --- I've taken as much advantage of being alone while meeting my three goals: napping, knitting, reading.  It's been a good couple of days.

My Ring

In high school (maybe junior high, but I think high school), my best friend spent a summer in Israel.  When she got back, she gave me this:

It says "Kim" in Hebrew.

All these years, I have worn this ring a lot.  First, because I adore Shari and she was kind and thoughtful enough to get it for me.  Second, because it's cool and unique.  But as the years have gone by, this has become more than just a ring to me.  It is my good luck, it is my strength, it's my comfort and my friend being right here with me.  I suppose if I were a baby, this would be about the same as my blankie.

Usually, I wear gold jewelry on my left fingers and wrist, and silver on my right.  I have several other silver rings that I rotate through, but if I know a day is going to be particularly stressful or difficult, I always reach for this one.  And when I wear it, I know it.  It and my finger have grown quite accustomed to one another over all these years, and I simply know that that ring is the one I'm wearing without having to look down.

I've worn that ring this week.  This week that I put everything of my parents' I could fit in my car and said goodbye to all the rest --- some of which I'm always going to ache for.  This week when I laid the garage door opener on the kitchen counter, knowing I'd never be in that driveway again, would never need that way in.  I've held that ring and I've cried and cried, and it almost always slows my tears down.  Because it is my treasure and it is safety and it is Shari helping me.  And it makes things better.

Hang In!

Closing in on closing out the first round!  Winners from yesterday:  TV's Craig Ferguson, Rashida Jones, Jon Stewart and Emma Watson.  (In the spirit of transparency, 2 of those 4 were my nominees.)

Contestants for today

Pair Thirty-Nine

Pair Forty

Press On!

More winners: Tom Hardy (by a single vote which came in the last few minutes the polls were open), Gillian Anderson, Scarlett Johanssen and Christina Hendricks.

More decisions:

Pair Thirty

Pair Thirty-One

Pair Thirty-Two

Pair Thirty-Three

We'll finish the First Round by the middle of next week, then head right into Round Number Two!

Last (Full) Day

It would be hard to overstate what these four days here have meant to my mental health.  I cannot remember the last time I was this relaxed, unharried, dare I say it, happy.  I've walked and walked and thought and prayed and meditated and just been still and listened to the water.

The realization that tomorrow I have to go back to Athens starts a churning in my stomach, and all my pills immediately imprint on my brain.  While here, I've had to force myself to take them.  I'm recording little slivers of videos to have when I get back, so that, 30 or so seconds at a time, I can be back here again.

What I may need, this experience tells me, is to travel.  With what money Mama left me, I can take the occasional little outing.  And, honestly, into the marrow of my spine, I am certain I ought to buy myself a house on a beach.

Some of what I've done here, I'll do when I'm back in Athens.  I've knit

a lot.  I've read a lot.  But I've also gotten out at least twice each day and walked the town.  Went into funky little shops, found the most literal of out-of-the-way-places to eat.  As I leave tomorrow, I'm going into Charleston to visit a yarn store.  It's all the same, but so, so very different and so, so, so very healing.

Only things I'd change?  Well, first, check with my Twinnie and see if she's going to be anywhere near (we missed each other by that much), and second, buy myself a kite.

When You Can't Sleep at Folly Beach

You get to watch the sun come up.

This is Why Women Love Colin Firth. Well, One Reason Women Love Colin Firth.