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 Today was the last day of physical therapy!  Fingers still numb, lots of exercises in the memory bank, no more getting up ridiculously (for me) early to make appointments.  Finished!

Really and Sincerely

 Do birds ever fly into spider webs?

True Confessions

 The "non-slip" shoes and little cat socklets are still where they were The Day I Fell.  (Excuse the garage's floor.)

Somehow, my big ol' head was right in that corner.  Face down.  Maybe make a little memorial there.  Miniature furniture, tiny trees, a simple yet artsy and soothing water fountain, a placard...

(I just now noticed the insulin syringe under the heel of the top shoe.  That's been there a while, huh?)

I confess that I'm in no hurry to move this stuff.  I have no idea why.  It isn't to remind me to be careful.  I've got that.  Maybe I'm used to it all being there, and it would be weird for them to be gone? 

I also confess that I was SO glad to be back to my regular therapist today.  He's nice, supportive, and if I'm not doing something correctly, he shows me the right way patiently and without judgment.  Thursday is my last session.  Tomorrow is six weeks since falling.  My shoulder is much, much better, but these two fingers refuse to de-numb.

Me, too, little Beagle guy.  Me, too.

Technicolor Dreams

I dream in color.  They're ringed with wispy blackness, though, like vintage portraits.  

Last night, my dream was about me mucking (literally) about in a barn.  Sweep, shovel, fill the water troughs, feed --- you get the picture.

At one point, I looked down at my feet and realized I hadn't been wearing barn boots, but some Old Gringo boots I've been coveting:

"DADDY!  THESE AREN'T MY BARN BOOTS!  I CAN'T WEAR THESE FOR THIS!"

Calm as he always was, he said, "Go look on my desk --- there's a list there for you."

I was supposed to name all the horses!  How many there were, or what any of the names were, I cannot tell you.  The dream ended.  Don't you hate it when that happens?

ESP

Despite my believe-in-signs-and-superstitions upbringing, I'm not sure I buy ESP.  I do think ghosts exist, but not scary ones.  Ones that are comforting --- romantic, even.

SO, for about a week and a half, I've been "hearing" Madeleine's mews.  They are definitely hers --- Riley wasn't too terribly vocal. But it's Riley that I've been "seeing" out of the corner of my eye every now and then.

I'm not spooked by this.  Nor do I feel I've slipped away from Reality.  In fact, as stated before, it's been comforting in several ways.  

I know these things don't constitute ESP, per se, so let me get to it in a different way.  My father (last name initial "S"), once established a business with two of his friends.  One's last name started with "P," the other's "E."  Yes, they called the business "ESP."

Cryin' Every Day

Thursday, there were tears after my therapy session.  Darrell, my "regular guy," was booked solid, so my appointment was with another therapist.

He was abysmal.

No support, no motivation.  Criticism.  Criticism bordering on ridicule.  Forcing me to push and pull my shoulder beyond points of comfort.  By the time my session was over, I was physically whipped and emotionally drained.  (You can offer help, you can speak without spitting "No, no, NO!" through your teeth.)

Yesterday, I cried because I was in pain from Thursday.  My hurt feelings turned to anger.  Thursday night, for the first time in several weeks, I didn't sleep well because my arm and shoulder kept me awake.

Today, I cry from the weight and the wait of all of this.  Plus, I finally cast some knitting on.  Mistake.  Yes, I knew cotton was an unwise choice.  Stiff, unforgiving.  Yet I figured a dishcloth could bear more mistakes than something else.

Just the cast-on and the one row back were so painful.   My index and my middle fingers, though they're both completely numb, hurt.  How is that logically possible?

Irresistible Force

It's been years since I was on Pinterest, mostly because my password (and other identifying information) had long been forgotten.  A couple of weeks ago, though, the stars aligned, the tumblers found their keys, and. . .  I'm back!

And mostly I've been pinning Secretariat pictures!  Yes, he was gorgeous, but mainly, the boy oozed personality and always knew where the camera was.

I've not knit in so long that there's nothing to add to that board.  Hopefully, it won't be too much longer.

It's way hot here right now.  There are cicadas, too, and they are LOUD.  Summer nights in the South are fairly chirpy and clicky anyway, but this is one of those "They've turned it to 11" deals.

Stop (Think Again)

My shoulder and my arm have been feeling much better lately.  So much so that I'd been doing extra rounds of exercises.  I thought there was genuine healing.

I was sore going into therapy today (surprise) and I am seriously sore now.  There were new exercises today --- some of which I couldn't do.  And I go back on Thursday.

One

Though I have a book full of Winter stickers with which to collage, only one has me looking at it over and over.

What is this?

It's a scarf, fairly plainly, but what is up with the hand?  That isn't how a scarf is held.  Or how a scarf could be held.  Was there a person in there that got airbrushed out?  This is making me crazier than it should.

I Don't Know Why I Bother With Myself*

Anyone else also feeling like the bottom kitten here?

No knitting.  I pout.  The kitten is Today's Spirit Animal.

*Or Making Plans

With the Sun in My Eyes

My physical therapy appointment was at 8 this morning. 

I KNOW!!!

Being someone who is very, very, very seldom up at that atrocious hour, I never thought about driving into the sun and having to actually unhook my visor to help me.  How do people who work do this every day? 

The session itself was okay.  There were new things to do there, but I'm to keep the same exercises going here.  This

is kind of a bicycle for arms.  No problem on the left side, but that right side wasn't having any of it.  So I'm pretty sore tonight, but ice and Aleve are helping.

Depending on how I feel tomorrow, I may try casting on a little.  And depending on how that goes, maybe do a row or two?

I Surrender

I cannot figure this whole shoulder thing out.  One day the pain is here, another day it's there...  The pains are all different...  When the therapist asks tomorrow how things have been, I'm not sure what to tell him.  It's better, but then it isn't, the pain is sharp, then it's not.  We'll see.

Overnight

My shoulder woke me up.  That was the first time in a while, actually.  Weirder than it hurting like that was that the pain was in the front instead of the back or the top.

I've had to really, really cut down on my assigned exercises.  The therapist said not to overdo it.  (As if anyone needs to be told to exercise LESS.)  Of the four he gave me, only two don't bother me, so I'll go on with those.  Next appointment: Friday.

My Thing

I so often find photos that are perfect reflections of how I feel at any given time.

This is me today.  I'm not angry or particularly sad, just... hmph.

This photo was left out yesterday.  It amazes me, no matter how many times I look at it.

Deeply, Deeply Me

I thoroughly enjoy photos that make me think.  "Wait...  It's that far away/big/color, etc.?"

Here are a few.

The picture itself is amazing, but the fact that the camera that took it is a million miles away is astonishing.

And since we're in Space already, this:

Our little moon there, though.

One regrettable thing from our NYC trip is not being able to go here.  Not that we would have had this angle..

Folks continue to theorize about how these got here.  I'm just glad they did.

I'll admit, I'd never thought about the back of the Sphinx.

These always stop me in my tracks.  The pyramids are near a modern city.  We'll, technically the city is near the pyramids, but you get my drift.

 From this angle, it looks like they hover over Giza.

They dwarf everything, don't they?  These unsettle me, but in the most awe inspiring, slack-jawed way.

Back Home...

 ...after the first therapy session.

It went well.  My therapist is named Darrell, and he was very nice, helpful, and knowledgeable.  Of course, most of the "session" was answering questions.  There were preliminary "tests" and exercises, then 10 minutes of "ice" from a really cool machine.  (I didn't see that pun coming.)  A wrap around my shoulder, then the machine inflated* the wrap with cold air.

I have exercises to do daily.  I go in twice a week for the next four weeks.  My arm's kind of crampy/achy right now, from all the movements this morning.  I'm not looking forward to all the appointments, but if I only get the feeling in my two fingers, it will be a victory.

Another waiting room photo for you:

Check in, save your soul, and if things get a little messy, they've got you covered.

*Think blood pressure cuff, but bigger, and wrapped around your shoulder.

Tomorrow, Tomorrow

 Creeping at this petty pace...

Physical therapy starts tomorrow, and I'm looking forward to/dreading it.  Dreading because it means I have to get up and make myself presentable (🫩), looking forward because my arm has been bothersome the last couple of days.  I'm getting lots of ice and ice bags ready for the aftermath.

There's really nothing post-worthy going on here. 

   Bor-ing.

Search, Find

 I have made SO MANY bookmarks that I have come across things that look like they could be fun and interesting in other pieces.  Scissors are still impossible for me, so everything's been stickers, but here's some of what I've laid aside for "Later."

No TNT for me.  I use spring tension hoops, and am not quite able to set them yet.  My index and middle fingers are still numb.  It's like having  band-aids wrapped too tightly around your fingers.

Not much else.  Mental therapy tomorrow, physical therapy Friday.  What a life.

Am I the Only One?

Who, when driving, hits the turn signal on beat with whatever song is playing?

Who doesn't mind leaving a chocolate bar in the car, because it can melt just right?

Who could drink/eat/however one ingests it, finish an entire can of sweetened condensed milk?

Who applauds this baker's use of pretty colors here?  The next time I order a baked good, I'm rather certain I'll ask for turquoise icing.

Who didn't realize that those packages of Buddig lunch meat were meant for a single sandwich?  

My mother would ration out those slices.  Rash-unned.  And now I learn I could have put them all on at once?

Who doesn't like peppers in/on my food?  I am an immediate picker-offer.  It's a given that they add color;  they are pretty.  Inedible here, though.

Who remembers Boil-in-the-bag food?  I really liked the roast beef.

Who thinks that men's suits were just kind of waiting around, all downcast, until Colin Firth.

Someone may wear a suit as well, but no one wears one better. Agreed?

Overnight

 Definitely slept on my right side more last night, and it's sore from wrist to shoulder.  My back was super sore when I woke up;  I'm unsure if the two things are related even a little bit.  For both of them, heating pads were the order of the day.

Miracles Happen

I've been able to cut things out for collaging for a full 35 seconds before having to drop the scissors and wait a good 20 minutes before picking them back up.

I still can't knit --- I tested again yesterday, and it's not happening.  Cross-stitch is out of the question;  I don't think I could get the fabric into a hoop.  Patience, grasshopper...

Also, last night, I was able to sleep on my right side.  First time since all this started.  It was tricky to turn over to my left side, and my arm was sore when I got up this morning, but I'm labeling it a victory.

A surprisingly quiet 4th here.  Everyone must have used up their fireworks last night.  Fireworks have never bothered Tap.  Some of you might remember my dog Finn;  he was upset by them (and loud noises in general. )  I got him a Thundershirt, and that freaked him out more than the loud stuff. Pic k your poison, I suppose.

Idea

What say, people in my and nearby neighborhoods, we wait until the actual Fourth of July to set off fireworks?

The 1st Mistake I Made...

... was assuming that since my arm felt better the day before yesterday, it was going to feel good yesterday.

Because between the day before yesterday and yesterday was a night, and nights have not been kind to me.  So, though I thought I had turned a corner, I hadn't.

Next Friday, physical therapy is to begin.  Whee.