Question, or questions, for you:
If you have siblings, do you get along?
If you are a parent of more than one child, do they get along?
My two run extremely hot and extremely cold. I don't know how much, or even if, they are in touch with one another. They each hold grudges from their childhoods against the other, which I have only found out about recently. I don't have any details (and doubt that I want any), but the hurt is obviously deep.
One thing: if one of them is having a crisis, and has dumped said crisis on me, the other one will follow close behind with an emergency of his/her own. Today, I got it from both barrels. They're adults and need to sort things out on their own, but they're also still my babies. That they can't, or won't, turn to one another for even the tiniest bit of help hurts me.
What do I do? Has a mother entering her children's frays ever been a good idea?
4 comments:
I'm sorry that the niece and nephew are not playing nicely. My brother and I just pretty much ignore one another. I think you could say we get along but I have no desire to see him or he me. He was never anyone I would go to in a time of crisis.
My twinnie, on the other hand...
My sisters and I are very close, but I don't think any of us count on each other for help with troubles or crises. Which may be why we get along so well. Having said that, I know that they would jump in and help in any possible way if I actually asked them, and vice versa. Also, we don't live near each other at all, and frankly I think that helps in our case.
My husband's siblings are a whole 'nother story. One lives less than 20 miles from us, and we have not seen him in over 5 years. So I don't think there are any hard and fast rules for siblings.
Our two sons, 4.5 years apart, never spoke a civil word to each other (as far as I know) until they were both out of high school. I was completely amazed when they traveled to Europe together last summer.
Families are so complex. I have learned from a therapist that triangling is a big no no. You are supposed to deal with each other one on one and not interfere with relationships outside that. IT is tough. We care so much if our kids love each other. Sorry
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