Friday, July 3, 2015

Regrets

Today has been almost unbearable.  The physical pain has been the worst yet.  I am sad, and lonely, and still consumed with knowing that Finn is still alive, and I could just go pick him up and bring him back home.  And then his claws would be clicking on the floors, and he'd be barking at every little sound, and putting his face up to mine when he knows I'm cryng.  Like right now.

There have been a lot of animals in my life, but I've never had one's story go this way.  If it's torture for me, how must he be feeling?

And yet, I have to have him euthanized when his 10 days are up.    He was biting me more regularly, and with increasing anger.  He didn't bite me Monday --- he attacked me.  The wounds are deep and painful.  The nerve damage to my hand and fingers is most likely temporary;  still, I can't do anything with my right hand right now.  Which means s lot of time that I would be knitting, or doing just about anything, is spent staring out the window and obsessing over everything.

And you get to read about it.

I'm sorry.

9 comments:

  1. Please don't apologize to us. I am so terribly sorry you have to go through all of this. It absolutely sucks that you have to deal with this and it's ok to feel crappy about it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Everybody here loves you and has your back too.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh, Kim - this is so awful. I am so, so sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I am so sorry. Pets worm their way into our hearts and souls and give us comfort and humor and unquestioning love. It is heart-wrenching to have to lose one. {{{hugs}}}

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh Kim. Bless your heart. Im so sorry you are dealing with this. Abundant prayers for you. You have given him a life so many others would not have. Hugs. Hugs hugs

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm hoping your swelling and pain have decreased- you are in my thoughts... Whatever you need to do- I know we all support you. I'm so sorry you are dealing with so darn much... Hugs

    ReplyDelete
  7. This is the absolute worst. Take care and remember it's no one's fault and he knows you love him and always will. I know, easier said than done now, but it's still true. Love you sweetie, and Finn too.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hugs to you, Kim. I wish I could squeeze you big and let you soak my shoulder. I'm so sorry that this is happening.

    ReplyDelete

Pictures, and This

When you and your daughter go to see your son and her brother in his play, you want to take a picture of them.  You mention this to them, a...