Skip to main content

Regrets

Today has been almost unbearable.  The physical pain has been the worst yet.  I am sad, and lonely, and still consumed with knowing that Finn is still alive, and I could just go pick him up and bring him back home.  And then his claws would be clicking on the floors, and he'd be barking at every little sound, and putting his face up to mine when he knows I'm cryng.  Like right now.

There have been a lot of animals in my life, but I've never had one's story go this way.  If it's torture for me, how must he be feeling?

And yet, I have to have him euthanized when his 10 days are up.    He was biting me more regularly, and with increasing anger.  He didn't bite me Monday --- he attacked me.  The wounds are deep and painful.  The nerve damage to my hand and fingers is most likely temporary;  still, I can't do anything with my right hand right now.  Which means s lot of time that I would be knitting, or doing just about anything, is spent staring out the window and obsessing over everything.

And you get to read about it.

I'm sorry.

Comments

  1. Please don't apologize to us. I am so terribly sorry you have to go through all of this. It absolutely sucks that you have to deal with this and it's ok to feel crappy about it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Everybody here loves you and has your back too.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh, Kim - this is so awful. I am so, so sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I am so sorry. Pets worm their way into our hearts and souls and give us comfort and humor and unquestioning love. It is heart-wrenching to have to lose one. {{{hugs}}}

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh Kim. Bless your heart. Im so sorry you are dealing with this. Abundant prayers for you. You have given him a life so many others would not have. Hugs. Hugs hugs

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm hoping your swelling and pain have decreased- you are in my thoughts... Whatever you need to do- I know we all support you. I'm so sorry you are dealing with so darn much... Hugs

    ReplyDelete
  7. This is the absolute worst. Take care and remember it's no one's fault and he knows you love him and always will. I know, easier said than done now, but it's still true. Love you sweetie, and Finn too.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hugs to you, Kim. I wish I could squeeze you big and let you soak my shoulder. I'm so sorry that this is happening.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cold Shoulders

There were 589 stitches!  They were the beginning of this: It's the Superior Waves Shawl from Willow Yarns.  This is one of the kits Kathy was asking about the other day.
Speaking of which, here are this week's questions: Sure sign of Springs: bugs.  Has anything bitten you yet? No, though the carpenter bees are back flying around the bench on the front porch. Do you knit for practice?  I don't mean for gauge;  for a stitch pattern? If I have, I don't remember. Have you tried One Touch Latte for your coffee? Not a coffee drinker. Have you seen or tried Persi laundry detergent? I'd never heard of it 'til now. When was the last time you wore one of your own handknits? Over the weekend --- some socks made from Noro.
If the waves shawl weren't keeping me busy enough, I'm also working on 28's Cousin 53.  I'm making it out of yarn that will turn purple when I wear it in the sun. What will they think of next?

Hmmm?

Yesterday would have been my mother's 88th birthday.  I don't say that looking for sympathy --- it's just that the arithmetic surprised me.  Then I realized that next year, my husband would have been 70.  That is hard to get my mind around.
The shades-of-blue feather and fan shawl (the 589-stitcher) had to go into the "Maybe Another Day" file.  Somewhere along the way, I lost the pattern stitch and couldn't fix it without frogging way, way back.  It's irritated me to no end, but there really wasn't anything else to do.
Something occurred to me the other day.  If this is already being done, I didn't know, so I'm not trying to steal anyone's thunder.  You know those cake/cocoa/cookie mixes in a jar? Why couldn't that be done with yarn "cakes"?  


Babes

Hooray;  baby giraffe has arrived! Next to his parents, he looks almost like a toy, but when you put him next to anything else, you realize his size.  He's already taller than me: 5'9".
There's a naming contest for him.  I submitted "Reveille," as his arrival trumpeted us all awake yesterday.  That came to me as I was tumbling names around in my head.  His sire's name is Oliver, which, backward --- revilo --- brought Reveille to mind.
Babies are also front and center knitting-wise.  Two people in my orbit are expecting --- one having a boy, the other a girl.  I'm going with basics just now --- burp cloths, wash cloths, etc.  There's a little time yet in both pregnancies, so there's time to decide on the fancier things.  This is my first knitwear model, now waiting to be a big brother.  Time does fly.