For some reason, both our dogs have been whining all day long.  It has driven me insane.  Rupert, in particular, has been persistent with his shrill yodel.  I have no idea what the problem/issue is, I just know I have a column of agony in the right side of my brain drilled from the top of my head down to my top teeth.

My psychiatrist refused altering my medications, though I begged him to.  He said, firstly, I am taking so many things, trying to pinpoint exactly what to change and how much would be almost impossible to do.  I can understand that, but I NEED HELP.  His answer was that since depression is such an isolating disease, I need to get out and with other people as much as possible.  I told him that I volunteer once a week, and have my knitting group every other week.  Nice "start," he said.  Add one more activity before the year is over was what he sent he me away with.

I could have punched him in the throat.  I am so angry and so tired and so devoid of hope.  And I am now in physical pain, which I trust will be lessened by a massage tomorrow afternoon.  (It is agonizing to even knit.)  I am running wholly and completely out of ideas here.


  1. Okay.....GOOD For you for scheduling a massage. !!!!
    How about a support grouP? That seems like a big deal though...right before the holidays too....okay forget that...
    how about something yOU LOVE and havent done in ages: like ride a horse or go to a movie with your kids or just walk around your block with the dogs.... sometimes you can only walk around the block ONCE>..I know. the dogs will draw you to nature... I find that soothing.
    Or maybe if you walk to the coffee shop and treat yourself....and turn around and go home....
    or maybe you can go hold a puppy somewhere... or a kitten, .....
    anything until the meds kick in...AND they will......

    hang on


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