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Though I have been a mother for almost 24 years now, I've never felt that "Mother's Day" was for me.  I can't explain it, and I realize that from out there it makes little, if any, sense, but in here, it's clear as day.  Mother's Day was for my Mama.  That's all.  I suppose that's how I'll always feel.  Especially today, my first one without her.

My children are always so eager to please on this day.  They tell me over and over that it's my day, that they'll do anything or go anywhere that I want to go.  All the decisions are mine.  And I can never come up with anything.  Ever.  For 23+ years!  Is it because of not feeling I have a claim to the day?  Or is it being a real mom, and trying to think of things to do, places to go that the children will enjoy/won't fight over?  I'm guessing enormous parts of being a mom are wanting your children to be happy, and, not to be overlooked, keeping the peace.  Even at the cost of your own entertainment/comfort/preferences.

All that said, today's Google doodle brought me to tears:
Two little ones and a simple flower.  Happy Mother's Day.


  1. Awww. SOrry about you mom ......tough day for firsts.

  2. Firsts are really hard, hugs!

    I have no insight on the Mothers Day bit, not being a mom, but maybe it's because it's "all about you" but you're still trying to make it a day when your kids feel good about whatever it is that they're doing for you?


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