Going Through a Shutdown

Thank you for your support.  So many of you are pet parents, too, so I don't have to do a lot of explaining.  I've made the arrangements for her cremation.  I'm watching Riley and Tap to see how they're doing.  When our Best Dog Ever, Jessie, died suddenly, a cat we had at the time, Gable, grieved to death.  He adored Jess, and once she was gone, he sort of stopped everything.  I don't want Tap or Riley to go through that.  Admittedly, Riley is 19 years old, so a dip in her health could come from anything.

Madeleine was 15, and was a diabetes patient for almost 10 years.  It's weird;  I can't throw her insulin away yet.  The syringes weren't a problem --- I guess the system of delivery isn't as precious as what was being delivered.  She came to us in the wheel well of Briton's car.  She was named for the character he was playing in a show just then.  He had been to some sort of cast get together one night, and when I went out the next morning to take Hannah to school, there were these tiny mews coming from his car.  She fit in my hand.

I'm knitting a little today.  I've made arrangements for her cremation.  There's a knitting group that meets weekly at a nearby library, and I had intended to join tonight, but it's not in my cards.  I'm chronically, crippling depressed, and now I'm sad, too.  Yes, I know that getting up and getting out are weapons against my depression, but the part of my brain that is rational is being pushed out of the way by the part that is shutting me down.