Monday, December 1, 2025

Just So Much

'Tis Advent Season. I love an Advent calendar.  I got this from a friend who never fails me. 

Inside:
First book:
It does contain Chapter 1.  This book I have read in full.  And I've listened to Kate Bush's song;  several versions.  (Pat Benatar, I see you.) 

Did any of you know this existed?
You know the retching reflex?  Yeah.  That.

See, I grew up going barefoot more often than not (still do, honestly), and I had an unfortunate habit of inadvertently finding and stepping on slugs.  Said steps would send me SCREAMING into the house to, "Wash it off!  Get it off!  Wash it OFF!"  The thought, then, that people would spend money on snail mucin is beyond my ability to comprehend. 

Um, NO.  I realize you're a doctor and all, but your use of the word "attractive" makes me question things about you.

Whew!  I was so worried about the feelings and the fate of animals who secrete their own glide paths.

This, though, make me laugh:
A dark room?  I can promise each and every one of you that snails produce mucin (🤢) during daylight hours.  Quiet?  Do they outfit each snail with tiny Beats headphones?  What kind of appalling job is mucin collection?  But, again, we are reassured that the snails are free from external stress.  What internal agony some must feel, though, as they question what life choices led them (on their trails of slime) to wind up on mesh nets having their life force being collected from them?

"You only love me for my ooze.  I'm going back to my mother."  
"Don't you dare laugh at me.  I will get there eventually."


5 comments:

Araignee said...

We’ve got a slug issue here. More times than I care to remember I’ve had to wash that slime off. To pay for it? Insanity.

Bridget said...

You know, even though I know people who swear by the stuff ... NO.

Delighted Hands said...

We have a problem with an invasive snail here--I've only seen one but it was huge! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lissachatina_fulica

Kim in Oregon said...

Slugs are everywhere here. they ate all my lettuce last spring until I got the 'good stuff' out.

Kim in Oregon said...

Me again. You are absolutely spot on re. Charles Dance.

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